Why Victor's Lists?

​When my son was first diagnosed with profound autism, I had no idea how much my life would change. The future I had envisioned vanished in an instant, and I found myself navigating an entirely new world—one that felt isolating and overwhelming. At first, I was in denial. I couldn't accept that my son, Victor, had profound autism. Like many parents, I clung to the hope of finding a cure, convinced I could somehow fix what I believed was broken. It felt like I was trapped in a nightmare, praying to wake up and find everything back to normal.

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Determined to help my son, I dove into research, hoping to find answers. That search led me to Applied Behavioral Analysis (ABA) therapy. With a background in education, I decided to pursue a Master’s degree in Special Education, believing that if I learned enough, I could teach my son out of his autism. What I didn’t expect was how deeply this journey would open my eyes—not only to the challenges of teaching children on the spectrum but also to the attitudes and misconceptions surrounding autism.

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Along the way, I met some incredible professionals, true angels on earth, who dedicate their lives to supporting children with special needs. But I also encountered a distressing undercurrent—a lack of understanding and compassion from some educators and professionals toward parents like me. The very people who are supposed to help often seemed to misunderstand, dismiss, or even blame us for our child’s struggles.

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This isn’t just an isolated issue in education. Through research and conversations with hundreds of parents, I discovered a recurring theme. Families of special needs children often feel unheard, misunderstood, and judged—not just by educators, but by doctors, service providers, and members of the community. It's a systemic problem, a cultural gap in understanding that extends far beyond schools. While we've made great strides in securing the rights of people with disabilities, the attitudes and biases that persist remain largely unaddressed.

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It’s time for us, as parents, to take the lead in changing that. We need to educate our communities—not just about our children's needs, but about our needs as their caregivers. We deserve to be understood, not blamed. We need professionals who listen, who support us, and who recognize the complexity of raising a child with special needs.

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That’s why we created VictorsLists—a forum and network where parents and caregivers of special needs individuals can share their experiences and recommend the true superstars in our community.

 

It’s more than just a resource; it’s a movement. By collecting and sharing the voices of parents, we can create a roadmap for professionals—doctors, therapists, service providers, and others—on how best to serve our community.

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Living with a special needs child is a journey marked by stress, exhaustion, and, at times, grief. We grieve not only for the child we imagined, but for the life we thought we would have. That loss never fully goes away. There are still days when I wonder, "What could have been?" But over time, I’ve learned to embrace a new kind of gratitude—one that celebrates different milestones, accomplishments I hadn’t planned for but cherish just the same.

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I’m not sharing this to elicit pity or sympathy. I want to shed light on the emotional and psychological reality that many families face when they embark on this journey. The broader community needs to understand the unique challenges we endure, so they can better serve and support us.

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With VictorsLists, parents can finally have a voice—a positive, powerful voice. By sharing recommendations and reinforcing the great work being done by so many, we can foster a community that listens, learns, and grows. Together, we can change attitudes and create a world where special needs families are respected, supported, and understood.